hati-hati bila bercakap.

Hari yang sungguh panas dan saya sedang mengalami bad-hair-day..
rambut sudah panjang..
rambut sudah tebal..
hujung rambut kering, nampak macam pubic hair.
mau get a hair-cut tp rasanya duit tinggal rm1.
hari ni sungguh panas gila babeng..
saya mau hisap rokok dan sebentar lagi akan ke rumah sepupu untuk mengumpat.
bikin hilang boring ba tu..dan tambah dosa.
sepa benci saya sila angkat tangan, saya ingin berterima kasih.
saya tiada issue..issue yang ada saya.
issue suka ikut saya ke mana saya pergi sebab saya mempunyai raut wajah yang comel..
terutama sekali bila dilihat dar pandangan atas..mata saya nmpak bulat..
tp itu semua hanya super-imposed sahaja..
rokok pun tinggal satu batang, mungkin lepas ni terpaksa hisap rokok mentol kepunyaan faye dan pearl..tidak sedap..rasa mcam minum clorox.
Dunhill light kegemaran terbaru..marlboro rasa mcam makan sirih.
tapi..hisap juga tatkala waktu2 desperate melanda.
susah mau berhenti merokok?itu semua mainan minda sahaja.
jangan easily temakan saiko..nanti semua benda tidak tercapai..
senang sja mau berhenti..cuma saya belum ready..
malas mau jadi hipokrit.
jadi, tunggu apa lagi?
bakar la..
lepas ne kalau sakit dada, sendiri tanggung.
sila tepuk tangan.

I was damn lucky.

Current situation: still shaking.

I am now in my room, still wearing my 'baju jalan'. For the record, i just survived in a minor accident. Noticed the word MINOR. Yea..minor but its really horrifying to me. It was my fault, i admit it. Plus..there were no street light, and i was sms-ing that time. I was wrong. I was stupid. and i was careless.Put the blame on me..:(

thankfully..the damaged was not teruk sangat la..minor only..but still i do feel bad about everything..my mom have to issue money..the car need to be fixed..i gave my family a massive-shocking moment..damn it..i feel really2 bad...plus..a 1 year old baby girl is involved and thank god she is okay...

Mannnnnnn..bad things just keep on comin to my family..and the most sucking things are..there is nothing i can do..i dont have anything in me..i have no money, i have no jobs..i am completely zero. I have given so many troubles to my family..why????????????????????//why i still giving them troubles????????????

i am so.....LOST....SAD...

Vale is going down.

NOT.

I am currently suffering from a bad hangover due to the so-called Raya Aramaitii..yeap..they're not only serving lotsa fancy mancy biscuits but also..Mr. Chivas and Label 5..as well as Mr. Tiger..waittt...errr..I still feel like puking..

..

So, yesterday was very tiring..went to Wan's house in Nongkulub and was totally in love with the Kek Lapis Oreo Chips..hmmmmm~Sorry dou, no pictures available..was so busy testing all the foods..ngeee...mo diet la ne pas raya is over...ya right.

From Wan house, also went to a family friend's house which i basically know them..but they knew my father..and the Chicken Curry was superb..i was actually making a third round with it..heee..lalalalalalala~after eating session, we went inside the living room..(of course insisted by the Tuan Rumah)..the living room is really really nice..from the carpets till it large screen TV..everything just make u feels like home..:)...And here is when the alcohols involved..aiyaaa...its really hard to have a Tambunan blood u see.

Headache, sinus and hungry..but still have so many houses to go..to Beaufort today..haaa...crazy.

Till then, take care peeps and watch what ur eating aite..owwwh..did i mentioned i had a diarrhea yesterday too..erm nevermind..peace out.

Selamat Hari Raya.

OMGaaahhhhhh...its Raya again..hehehe..how come Raya wud be this early leh?bukan dat dat Puasa is on 22nd aa?then 20rd Raya odi..bulum cukup 1 bulan..?????hahaha..wataver la..im just plain dumb..

I'll be goin out in a few minutes and started visiting my Muslim's frens for 'beraya' activity..hehe..

So, Happy Raya everybody...Maaf Zahir dan Batin..

before i go..here's a little Qkie..

Matters to accomplish during Raya:

1. Makan Lemang.
2. Makan Satay (klu ada)
3. Makan Kuih Batang Buruk.
4. Mo dapat duit Raya.(klu ada)

Yay!

Kiasu.

SaBTU-Day morning and im feelin down?maybe?maybe not..I need to keep my feeling and my state of mind in the most stable condition that i could..Just a wrong turn can change my mood to a disaster..I don't want it to happen..Please.

The Parents and the Bro are goin back to hometown today..as usual..i be the one who stays..Should i invited him to come over?......Maybe not..he wouldn't want it.

So, its just gonna be me, good music, great books and my bed.

Happy Saturday everybody.

*sigh*

adult-life sucks.
single-hood life sucks.

General Cleaning activity is a day full of OMG-combo.

Im suppposed to write about this general cleaning thingy yesterday but..Yesterday i was busy having late-nite-sports-activity..if u know wat i mean.

My rooms has been so abondened for months now..don't be surprised..i am such a lazy bum when its come to cleaning..not that i am not a cleanliness little gurl okay..im just so allergic to dust..i cant handle dust very well and everytime i try to clean the fan or even vacum-ing my room..i ended up having a pretty bad sinus..that cause me to consume 2 pills of Uphamol Flu with 650mg each..So, u got the reason kan?

The best part is..General Cleaning helps u to found things that u long look for and never thought u will ever found them...stuffs that u don't even know u have them..stuffs that brings back memories..stuffs that makes u cursed..and whole lots of stuff..I kinda lazy to summarized more...and i am not in a good mood..i miss someone too much that i cried..so..just let the picas do the talking..

This is how my room looks like DURING the general cleaning

yea,,this is my laundry if u mind asking.

OMGaahhhhh...I can't believe this paper still exist..
I passed this paper around when im in sem 6 during Legal class.
This lectures and the lecturer as well is so boring it could kill me slowly..
so i passed this and asked everybody to comment about it..
just for fun..huahuahua.

I finally found my favorite movie of all..very very nice..

omg...porn..I cant recall since when i have these..Porn as well..punyaaa bidaaa...kin malu.

And this is Faye..i heart u arse..haha.

So long sweet summer.

You know what?

If u ask me did i miss you..Yes..i did miss you..i miss you like i never miss anyone before..i miss it when u were always there for me and chases all my sorrows away..

If u ask me did i still love u..yes i still love u..its just that i dont have the urge to tell u this anymore because i know its always gonna be u love her..i guess i just have to remain silence about all my feelings instead if telling all about it to you because its against karma..if you know what i mean..i know u dont understand..u never understand..

If u ask me if im tired of all this..yes i am extremely tired of all these because for almost two years..its been a really tiring roller-coaster ride or merry-go-round or what-so-fuck u wanna call it..i finally know things will never changed because i know u so well..and enuf said.I know u so well.

If u ask me why i lied..the answer is because i love u so much, i don't even want to hurt ur feelings..which i know its better to be honest than hiding...but the reason is I just don't want to ruin what we had.what we USED to have..

If u ask me do i really wanna be gone..yes i really wanna be gone because its hurting me and im tired of understanding peoples..including you..im tired of being patient..Im not sure if my heart can really handle this..im not sure if i am going to end up walking with my heads up..shows up on your wedding day and gives the sincere smiles ever to u and her OR if i end up being a total-loser and still mourning over losing your love, keeping your pictures, keeping ur things and get myself a big-distruction...No...I dont know that..im not sure about that.

If u ask me did I regret of having u in my life..the answer is No..because im not regretting the fact that u are part of my life..ONCE..i just regret about the choices i made..

If u ask me did I hate you..No..i don't hate because of all the hurts n pain i felt..u have shown me the meaning of life..the meaning of patients..the meaning of give and take..and tolerate..the meaning of love..the meaning of losing someone u love..the meaning of seeing someone u love loving other woman..u have shown me that..and that is why i cant hate you because u had open my eyes..that life is not a bed of roses..life will not always happen as what we wish for..as what we want it to be or what so ever..

I am going down.Period.
I gave up.

U may go now..go as u wish..leave me as u wish..go..and be happy..all the best in life because thats what i really want for u..happy.

I just don't give a damn anymore.

Gewd Morning ladies and dudeys..

I suddenly felt the urge to blogg..Nothing specific to write about actually..i guess i just need those therapy..

So, yesterday was a really lonely day..Yesterday is one of those day i feel like having no-life and no-fren..mutually frens..or what-so-fucking-ever..I was trying to called up some frens to have lunch together...and this is how it goes..

*text msg*

Vale:ui...bgun da ka?
faye:yaaa...tp msi limpang2 lg ne..napa bebot?
vale:teda..bored ba..meh p mkn...
faye:ba..sy mandi la dulu..
vale:ok..

Vale:Ui..mana ko ne?
clare:d ruma sy..napa?
Vale:errrr...baru mo bawa ko p momom..ndapa la..
clare:okies...

that was 12pm...

2hrs later..

Vale:UI..ko siap da ka?
Faye:hehe..sy jln sm Ryan ne..
Vale:oo ok ok..
Faye:sowie bebot..
vale:.....

*sigh*...My stomach are growling and i dont have the appetite to eat..unless..yea..if i have company..I grab my towel and take a cold-shower..well..at least it makes me feel a bit better..

random: I wonder why one of our photo looks the same..even the caption is almost the same..aah..screw it.Afterall..this post is about "I just don't give a damn anymore".

4pm...

I turned off my crappy lappy and put on some clothes..i barely even noticed that my hair were already dry..I randomly pick some old dress and grab my bag and my car keys..and heading to the place where my minds is instructing..

the library.

Yup. i went to the library..i made a membership card..and started browsing on some cool books to read..yaaa i know..its hard to believe that i loves reading so much eyh..well..i don;t have to tell u guys everything..blarh!

So, i borrowed myself the best 4 books and i have 2 weeks to finish it..

ow yup..i actually borrowed 6 books but apparently, the librarian said i could only borrow 4 books at a time..i was kinda curious because Faye got to borrow 14 books the last time i remember..I asked the person in charge and surprise surprise..I can only borrow up to 14 books if i have the family membership card..which is..only applicable to those who are married....

*bingung*..helooooo...Faye is not married okay..crazy.hahah.But enuf said..at least i got these books to made love with..okay im being sarcastic..u guys dont think that i really mad love with a book right?hmm.

This is my new library card.

And these are the books i'll be reading to ease my chronicle boredom.

That was about my books.

5.30pm..

Vale:Sel..ko d mana..
Adeq:aku otw pulang ne dr ambi c Eya..napa Vale?
Vale:oo..aku ingt ko around kk..
Adeq:ooo..mesti ko minta tlg aku reload ne kan..
Vale:ui..teteda ba..aku kira mo bawa ko stay..
Adeq:ooo..
Vale:ui..aku pun otw balik ne..ko mo stay d kfc beverly..?
Adeq:hmm..nda la..hehe..len kali la k..
Vale:...

*call Faye*

ringing....

still ringing..

ok ok i get it..Shes busy doing you-know-what.

*text msg*

Vale:ui..ko msi d ruma ka?
Clare:iyaaaa..
Vale:hmm..xpala..
Clare:hmm..ko blum mkn ne kan..sorry vale..sy d ruma Boy sda..
Vale:....

*faye called*

Faye:ui..napa?
Vale:napa?meh kwn sy mkn..sy lum mkn ne dr pg..
Faye:ui...sy d Ruma Ryan ne..
Vale:oo..ok ok..sorry2..
Faye:okay..
Vale:.....

Finally, i ended up waiting for my little brother to finish school and bring him to eat KFC with me..Yes..i ate with my 13year old brother.