You know what?

If u ask me did i miss you..Yes..i did miss you..i miss you like i never miss anyone before..i miss it when u were always there for me and chases all my sorrows away..

If u ask me did i still love u..yes i still love u..its just that i dont have the urge to tell u this anymore because i know its always gonna be u love her..i guess i just have to remain silence about all my feelings instead if telling all about it to you because its against karma..if you know what i mean..i know u dont understand..u never understand..

If u ask me if im tired of all this..yes i am extremely tired of all these because for almost two years..its been a really tiring roller-coaster ride or merry-go-round or what-so-fuck u wanna call it..i finally know things will never changed because i know u so well..and enuf said.I know u so well.

If u ask me why i lied..the answer is because i love u so much, i don't even want to hurt ur feelings..which i know its better to be honest than hiding...but the reason is I just don't want to ruin what we had.what we USED to have..

If u ask me do i really wanna be gone..yes i really wanna be gone because its hurting me and im tired of understanding peoples..including you..im tired of being patient..Im not sure if my heart can really handle this..im not sure if i am going to end up walking with my heads up..shows up on your wedding day and gives the sincere smiles ever to u and her OR if i end up being a total-loser and still mourning over losing your love, keeping your pictures, keeping ur things and get myself a big-distruction...No...I dont know that..im not sure about that.

If u ask me did I regret of having u in my life..the answer is No..because im not regretting the fact that u are part of my life..ONCE..i just regret about the choices i made..

If u ask me did I hate you..No..i don't hate because of all the hurts n pain i felt..u have shown me the meaning of life..the meaning of patients..the meaning of give and take..and tolerate..the meaning of love..the meaning of losing someone u love..the meaning of seeing someone u love loving other woman..u have shown me that..and that is why i cant hate you because u had open my eyes..that life is not a bed of roses..life will not always happen as what we wish for..as what we want it to be or what so ever..

I am going down.Period.
I gave up.

U may go now..go as u wish..leave me as u wish..go..and be happy..all the best in life because thats what i really want for u..happy.