h.a.p.p.y.?

Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose, you can't have anything..
Don't you take chances, you might feel the pain
Don't you love in vain, coz love won't set you free..

I could stand by the side and watch this life pass me by
So unhappy, but safe as could be..

So what if it hurts me?
So what if i break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground?

I gotta find my place, I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
Coz i'm just trying to be..Happy...
Just trying to be..happy...

Holding on tightly, just don't let it go
Just trying to play my role, Slowly disappear..
But all these days, they feel like they're the same
Just different faces, different names, get me out of here..
But I can't stand by your side
and watch my life pass me by..

So any turns that i can't see
Like i'm a stranger on this road
But don't day victim, don't day anything..

p/s: i L.O.V.E this song by Leona Lewis-Happy.

Xmas ur head la..

This is boring. thats all im saying. Its nice actually, its just lack of some excitement. Plain and boring.

I kid you not

So..ive been staying indoors for a while because of my several sickness..let me see: sinus?[checked], allergy?[cheked], fever?[checked], mental condition?[superbly checked], emotion sickness?[silverchair's checked]..btw, i still have no idea am allergic to what..i've been scratching here and there yet don't even know the reason for all the red dots.. so mafan..

Anyhooo...

Life's gonna change from now on.. I've decided a few things. This time around, i should think more for myself because dats what people had been doing to survive in this world. I've learnt that if you do not make a stand for yourself and you let people step all over you and manipulate you just because of the fact that ur nice or at least trying to be one and for whatsoever reasons..it will get you no where and in the end you are to blamed. Why? Because people can just easily say dat they didn't force you at the 1st place.

*[I KID YOU NOT]

So, lesson learnt.. be careful of selfish and manipulative people.

In the end, no one will save ur ass except for yourself..

Thanks for everything.. this is an eye opener for me. Now i can see the true color of things around me. Trust no one but your own instincts..I knew it was coming but who knew that in the end, kena kasi biar seja with whatever dats left la..

And this is one of the reasons juga why i let go of some things that mattered to me just so others will live a happy life and not be bothered for their own conveniences.

Enough with that la..lets talk about Xmas..

Oh well, i dont feel like xmas-ing..Everybody seems to start counting their own countdown..it stressing me out..i wan to feel excited also baaa...i force myself to go for gift hunting for everybody pun i still not in the mood for Xmas..perrrfttt...Gontua sda ba kan..*sigh*

bt the way, i need something fresh..i need a fresh start..new challenges, new environment, new crowd, new circle of friends..erm..nope..just stick with my old circle of friends, new hobby, new interest, new lifestyle..erm..nope oso..i'll stick with my old life...*refer previous previous post, one of my resolution for 2010 is to get the 60% of the old me back*

funny..im not excited with Xmas but im excited for New Year...??erm...fresh start Vale, fresh start.

The life survival tips part 1.

I went to my high school's reunion last night. It was fun, cool, great, warm n wicked *according to me* time we had. Feels great n bliss to see those *geng karas* faces again especially the boys whom i used to hang with..fablin, ah ping, luncai, bryner,osamu..etc. Kinda sad because Nurul was not there..but for sure there will be reunion part 2..I promised..:)

I had a very good conversation with Fablin..I cant believe the Fablin i used to play jokes with is now a very mature and responsible guy. Im talking about his sacrifices to support n take care of his younger siblings..since both of his parents pass away since i change school to Teknik. I feel really bad for not knowing about what has happened to him for the past 5 years. *sigh*

All the conversation we had, it got me thinking that no matter how life been so unfair or treating us like shit, bare in mind that others may faces a more difficult situation than us. People like me, who still have parents to depend on should really download this to our mind. Be grateful for everything that we have right now, embrace and appreciate things, peoples, memories, because we never know..never will know whats going to happen in the future..the future is super unpredictable. Life is like the theory of Yin and Yang, we cant always rely on the chi all the time, we cant expect our life to be so wonderful. Yes. There are no such thing as a fair world. Life is unfair. Nothing is fair. Sooner or later, we will eventually experience ups and downs in our life, and that time, we dont have a clue, whose gonna be the survivor, and whose in it just to lose it.

I wasted so many times in my life. I feel guilty for all the complaining i pour out. Looking back, i still got everything in my life. Yes life did hurts me in so many ways but i got to say that all of this has made me to be a stronger person. I realized that, there is no point of hating, feeling unsatisfied, whining n comparing other's life with ours. Someday, each one of us will have our moments too. We just got to have a good n flexible self-realization. Always always appreciate what we had.

Well, now i just want to say......I love my life and the idea of being Human with all that emotional bullshit that we are cursed with. I love all the friends that i ever had the pleasure to meet. I love my big guy, I love all my hate-fans.. I love my family. I love GOD.........turning a new page and starting another chapter of my life. Waking up and knowing that life is what you make it of......Peace All~!!

Hands Up.

I just broke someone's heart last night.

AND

Its way more harder than i thought.


Pheeewww~

Good morning.

Good morning world wide web..slept around 6am just now and i wake up at 9.50am..cant get back to my sleep ever since. Such a long boring holiday so i guess im givin a lil bit updates..

- waiting for my degree result..it shud be available by now but i still cant access..i think it has something to do with the webmaster..i dont know..

- I cant wait for reunion tomorrow..get a little bit excited to catch up with old friends..

- *i hope they didnt comment on my weight gains..*

- I bought a new sandal..and fall in love to it ever since..pictures up soon..

- Dat working thingy..it stressing me out..

- I still cant believe she do it..well..its hard to say because i dont even know what shes dealing with right now..

- Cant wait to shopp for xmas..i got few things in my list already..so much for a therapy huh?

- Im thinking of doin an open-house for my frens..

- but what dish should i prepare??????

- One of my resolution for new year..getting 60% of the old me back..

- I give a pause to my love life..

- Adeq seems to be disappear..She dont even return my calls and msgs..i wonder why?

-Mum has going over broad with the word 'obsolete'..dad too..

- Shud i go for working?or study?

- Me and Mr Sweet Talker?i think he had enough already..So..im done with him.

- I heard a rare song called Temporary Insanity..Love the melody, but the lyrics sounds a bit too much emotic and depressing to me..

- I miss you so much today.

So, this was it at the moment. Till next time..~

Never Gonna Happen.

I don't wanna hurt you cause I don't think it's a virtue
But you and I have come to our end
Believe me when I tell you that I never wanna see you again
And please can you stop calling cause it's getting really boring
And I've told you I don't want to be friends
Believe me when I tell you that I never wanna see you again

How on earth could I be any more obvious?
It never really did and now it's never gonna happen
with the two of us
I don't understand what it is that you're chasing after
But it makes me really sad to hear you sound so desperate
It just makes it harder

I can see how it's confusing -- it could be considered using
When I call you up straight out of the blue
But I don't understand what else a girl in my position's to do
Now I know you feel betrayed but it's been weeks since I got laid
This doesn't mean that I don't think you're a fool
But I don't understand what else a girl in my position's to do

I know it's rather ugly
cause I know that you still love me
And this isn't any kind of excuse
I don't love you, I don't love you...

Lyrics by: Lily Allen.

p/s: i love the lyrics. So general yet specific to me in a way.

For what it takes to have a little bit of gestures

Ok i guess i should be posting something to do about what 2009 has been for me. Frankly speaking, i am sick and tired of people saying that its been all right, things been shitty or everything been so gloomy and yada yada yada~..........that 2009 been up and down but everything is all right. What a load of BULLSHIT. Hey~ life can only be a shitty or colorful how you want it to be.....if you've dug your own grave, you have to lie on it. Enough said ok.

I think my PMS coming soon again..i see all little zips on my face, my appetite is as equivalent as an elephant's daily meal, and i get even hornier when M.Shadow screams..which lead me to a massive ear-gasm...if u know what i mean..and of course..mood swings and all other emotional rollercoaster what so fuck u wanna call it..yes..cursing too..bad mouth!bad mouth!

*Deep sigh*

.....

....
*Long Pause*

....

....

And now i suddenly feel sad when i look around my room and stares at my phone..Loneliness strikes..i never want this..but hell with it..Nobody cares at all..Each one of u seems to distance from me like im a living parasite..no..dont think im happy when i laugh..dont think im okay when i type lots of HAHAHA..I guess i always been like that..to hide pains so that i can get away with it which i know it will not so its back to square one..

crap!

screw me. I dont wanna be in this place..i dont wanna be here..it reminds me of u and her home-coming..

P/s:merry xmas..i hope u have a great time with her, like u always did. Since u not returning any of my calls and msgs..i guess i means nothing anymore..dats fine, because..because thats wat it supposed to be rite?so..ya...all the best.

Dgr lagu Mariah Carey.

im sorry i havent been able to write something meaningful these days..im having a phenomenal syndrome called brain freeze...i cant think properly. Sorry for all the inconvenience. i'll be back soon, i promise.

called it PMS or mood swings..i still hate being lonely.

All my life, i never felt as lonely as i feel rite now..this feeling is just so painful especially when i started looking back..i always be there for those people i wish could do the same for me too..unfortunately when it is my time to reach them, they often put someone else above me as their priority..

I understand the fact that they have their own life but that surely don't explain why i can be there for them whenever and wherever they need me to be..but they cant be there for me..yes..even when i was the one who makes arrangement to see them first..they end up putting me way far behind their list..

Maybe im on my PMS or whatsoever..im just..ok..whatever la.

I think everybody will be more happy without me.

wits end.

Just when i thought i never felt those hurts again..i was damn wrong. At times i feels so empty..its like i need to cut myself to feel things..ironically, when i think i am ready enough to let everything go and make a fresh start..those hurts came just at the wrong time..and it really struck me straight to the heart.

I may not be the best girlfriend to you as i made so mistakes in the past. But i thought u know me so well that despite all the mistakes i done, u surely know that whatever it is, i still loves u stronger than before. Maybe i deserve this, maybe i don't..but one thing i surely know, nobody can love u as much as i did. You wont see it through things that i cant even afford to give you, through proudness and perfection, through beauty and charm..what i can offer you is just me but I guess i am not good enough.

Once again, i made a mistake that i know i will soon regret. Its like Deja Vu, I knew it will happen, i even saw it happen in the images of my mind, but i guess i wast sure about wat am i thinking when i ask for it..the closure. I shouldnt have ask u for the closure because it actually hurts even more. I should've just be gone without any words and goodbyes because totally..im not very good at saying farewells..especially to you.

Im sorry for just walking and turning away just like that..Im sorry for breaking the code..Im sorry for the words, questions i put you through..i know im such a pain in the ass..i acted like a dumb blonde..im sorry that I annoys you..I guess im trying to provoke your anger because i dont wanna looked weak. Im sorry because i was stupid and i never been good to you..

*sigh*

And now...i feel so empty again..its like my life is meaningless..these breath i take is just a useless oxygen..i feel numb again..Lost i called it. If I could i wanna run away..even when everyone says running away wont solve anything..i still feels like running away because thats the only way I could feel..what it feels like to be disconnected in every ways...

I know i will not hear from you again..im not sure if u are going to read this but it wont matter too anyway..it still doesnt change the fact that im not good enough for you..Disappointed?I am.

trouble tidur.

One random fact : It was never easy for a lady to reject a guy. What, you think only girls wants their heart to be well taken care of? That's wrong. Guys hates rejection and hurts too. So, that is all i can say right now.

Well, that is not really the main point of my entry. Its just something that occurred in my current love life..correction..cant really say that its my love life because we are not attached in any ways..But for sure, i feels kinda bad because i keep on giving excuses..delaying..and so on. I just don't know how to say it straight. And if I could, I might as well say this..

" Look, the thing is I just don't love you. Not that I don't like you..Its just that I am really not ready to hit the dating scene. You're good, really good and i know that you will be a very good boyfriend-material Buuuutttttt...I just cant be that lady for you. Im just tired of starting over and im afraid that if I go for a YES with you, i cant really be the one who you thinks i am. You don't even know me, you don't even know my flaws and all..Plus, I don't think we're gonna work. So, just go live your life and keep on searching, i know u will find HER soon. May the best luck be with you, okei?"

well..if only i can say this straight to his face....*sigh*

By the way, what the hell happened to KK today??? I was out to town with Nana and the road is just so friggin jammed with in-compact cars. Starting from Karamunsing - Asia City - Centre Point. We spend 45 minutes from Asia City just to reach Cp's parking lots..WTFish? It was 3.30pm.

3.15pm(estimated only)
6.45pm(estimated only)
Tengahari until malam pun stil jammed..????

And owh..i just love this picture so very the mucho.

Im giving you the best of me, because you deserve no less.

Just when i thought i know you better than anybody else. I guess i was dead wrong.
Its 10 minutes to sunrise and I still can't sleep
One word,
FUCK.

C.L.O.S.U.R.E

*deep sigh*

Though i realize you are with someone else, i wish we are together instead..only in whisper that i dare to say it to the whole world..For any louder than that, i am just afraid that you would banished it away..

Someone once told me that in order to get over it and move on, we need to put the past behind us. A past that has no closure is a different kind of past. One would not understand it if one has not gone through it. With all due respect, everybody needs closure. There are things in my life that need so many closure that i never dare to get the privilege of doing so. Maybe Im afraid of the feeling of regrets that will or will not occur ever since I made the closure. I am living my life hanging..

Time passes by and part of me still saving the very best of myself for you. Im not sure of what im waiting for, or what am i hoping for..And I don't know if it worthwhile..I just can't stop L***** you. At times I feel like such a loser for keeping this feeling though its obvious that you are way too far away from me now..I just cant..

If u happen to read this, I just want that closure..
That closure..

What am i to you?

Ignorance is ur new bestfren.

Do i look happy?Because i am NOT but peoples keep on thinking so.

Paramore-Ignorance.

If i'm a bad person, u don't like me
well i'll guess i make my own way
It a circle, a mean cycle
I can't excite u anymore.

where is your gavel?ur jury?
WHat's my offense this time?
you're not a judge but if u gonna judge me
well, sentence me to another life.

Don't wanna hear your sad songs
i dont wanna feel your pain
when u swear its all my faults
cause u know we're not the same
No, we're not the same, oh no, we're not the same.

Yeah, ive got friends who stuck together
we wrote our name in blood
But i guess you cant accet that the change is good
its good, its good.

well, u treat me just like another stranger
well, its nice to meet u sir,
I guess i'll go, i best be on my way out.

Ignorance is your new bestfriend
Ignorance is your new bestfriend.

This is the best thing that coul've happen
Any longer, and I woudn't have made it
It's not a war, No, its not a rapture
Im just a person, but you cant take it.

The same tricks that, that once fooled me
They wont get you anywhere
Im not the same kid from your memory
well, now I can fend for myself.

sweet dream?or a beautiful nightmare?

I cant sleep. Actually im scared to sleep. Im afraid of a bad dreams. Just now while i was editing busy editing pictures, a friend of mine suddenly pop-up-chat me thru Facebook saying that she dreamt about me last nite..Its a bad one.

According to her, my family facing a big heavy problem.We lost everything..and she means EVERYTHING.

It was just a dream but i cant help myself from thinking about it..because our family is having financial problems and we are slowly losing things..for instance, my cAr.

*sigh*

Somebody..someone..pls provide me some positive thoughts or words.
....

I really2 need it.

Thank You.

Something good and new.

So, i was extremely busy for the past three days..Been helping my lecturer to prepare her wedding, which turns out to be perfectly done..well, of course with the help of me n Nana..i mean..most of the preparation is done by us..from decorating the pelamin, the table set, the bar, the food placement, the bride's wedding gown, being their driver, ...EVERYTHING. And we are uber tired.

Weird?It is. Kinda sad because their family weren't even there to help out..yaaa..family issues which i dont want to state here. Enough said. But overall, im glad everything turns out really2 well..Despite the lack of sleep, super massive hunger, tired, plus the weather is seriously being a bitch,yada yada yada...In the end, feels good it was perfectly done..pays-off man..I would cherish this experience in my life..And..ya..To prepare a wedding is really2 hard..u need at least a year to have a perfect event of ur biggest day in ur life...

Picas?
yeap..coming rite up.

DAY 1

just arrive at the SESB hall, nobody's around, hence..PICTURE TIME!!

Nana testing her artistic side..GOTCHA!
im just plain crazy n dumb..dun mind the ugly sandals btw..
Model of the day.
Model x jadi.
setting up the pelamin

DAY 2

Taking the car to be decorated.

till then, we just take a look inside the bridal shops.. aah~gownsssss...~So boring the face
Nana fancy this gown.
I like this pattern.(i lied)

The car is now ready..
gagaga.

DAY 3

Awal pagi suda p ambi bunga..erggh..jerawat!

nana.
at Berjaya Palace Hotel..few hours b4 the reception.
waiting to checked in.
Camwhoring while waiting for the brides to get ready.
the event finally started
them

AND
more pictures of us.

i just L.O.V.E this photos so much.

that was that..enough for today. I blog again tomorrow. Happy dawn everyone. Im off to sleep now, i think im getting sick again.*sigh*

Human-Toy?

An 11-year-old Bulgarian girl gave birth to a baby girl on the day she got married to her teenage boyfriend.
She was still wearing her flowing white dress and tiara when she arrived at the hospital and gave birth to 2.49kg Violeta last week.

After spending the night with her newborn, Kordeza changed back into her wedding dress to finish the ceremony.

“I used to play with my toys but now she is my new toy. She is so beautiful, I love her. Violeta is the child and I must grow up. I am not going back to school – I am a mother now,” Kordeza said.
Her husband is 19-year-old Jeliazko Dimitrov.

What the fuck is going on nowdays?

(@^@)

Sometimes, i just don't have a good reason for ALL the STUPID things i did.

What's the odd?

Frankly speaking..im just not in the mood of sentence-ing..Im just wayyy to exhausted of constructing my words..So, just for a lil q-kie updates..im just goin to summarize about what ive been up to n this is how it goes..

- Just had my interview for SPA thingy today..FYI, I have to be there from 7am-2pm..wtf rite? n of course..with empty stomach.

- My left eye hurt...:( ...no no its not Red Eye..I think it has sumthing to do with infection as i remember the other day..i was sleeping without removing my make up..Mascara it is..My left eye is currently watery, and reddish in colour.

- My statistic paper is killing me..i just dont wanna talk about it..well..more.i just don't wanna talk more about it.

- I am still in sick- mode..I have a very bad headache almost EVERY night..its like migrain but not really..*sigh*..

- So, i finally giving up my car..so u know how i feel.

- Im quitting my part time job soon..the payout sucks..big-time.

- Sometimes i just feel like slapping u hard in the face.

- i feel bloated all the time for this past few days..i probably goin to have my period soon..*checkin on calendar*

- Period means PMS tagged along..I just hate being so emotionally unstable..I cant made my mind. Besa laa...''susa ba mo jadi ppuan ne..'' org bilang la..

- I think guys just keep on getting better in being a 'mat bunga' eyh??just sad dou, we girls..never falls for it easily. Guys are so stupid.

- I think love DOESNT make the world go round..It actually make the ride WORTHWHILE .

- Welcome to the 'single and adult-hood life' to me...weeeeee~

- am trying to look for a better job with better income.i need to buy a car. I just cant live without a car..

-Ive been cutting down on cigarettes these days and it makes me feel 2kg heavier..

- i need to consume more water.

- i need to start on my diet..*ya right*

- i am in a relationship..*i lied*

- I have a very kind heart..*so true*

So, this is what ive been up to lately..ignore the last three..im just making that up.

im off now, will blogg more in the future..and..i think maggie ayam with eggs is so delightful to have rite now aite?

ergghhh...makaaaannnn ja ko vale,,nte ko jd Enot bru ko tau!

p/s: I would like to post up some pictures..but i just dont have the time..maybe later k pipols..

Chill-out?

Im having trouble-sleeping and feels like i wanna have a baby on my own...Bodoh?

Im planning to sleep early tonite but yadayada..situation goes rather ironic all the times...i dont feel sleepy at all..padahal...punya la super massive penat to the max...

I think i'll be transport-less in no time. Someone eventually interested in buying my Red Kancil...aduiii..mere words cant explain how much i feel sad of letting HER go..:(

In the mean time...this is a note to all guys..

guys...treat ur girl with the love of ur heart..Even when she make so many mistakes, but still..woman loves like there's no tomorrow..a woman in love has the ability to boost urself up when ur feeling down..Even when u yelled, still, its the gf who bares it all.

So, called up ur gf now, and tell her how much u love her. When is the last time u did something sweet to ur gf????

*sigh*

Just hoping somebody will treat me that way..iTs been such a long time..

oh crap..Im just talking rubbish..don't bother me.

im off to sleep now..hopefully i'll get some.

Goodnight peeps..see ya around.

*i'll be sleeping with few RnB soul music*

Whatsoever..

Im going to stay awake tonight as i need to cover all 12 chapters of Marketing..Yeaaa man..My paper is on this coming 4th..so..you know why..

Random..random...random...

This is me. Camwhoring before starting on my revision.

That's all folks..
Over and out.

P/s: I purposely minimize the size of these pictures.

woooooooooooooooot!~

Long long time ago..~iklan jap..sudden tringat lagu Chris Daughtry..kuikuikui...

My point is..its been such a long time since i last get a internet-gateway thru CC..if ya'll dun understand what CC means..it stands for Cyber Cafe..hohohoho..

*dgr org bekurapak dlm fon d sebelah*

Haizzzzzz..

Sendiri je ne skg..smua mutual friends ada agenda masing2..hm..gini la ba ne klu single..hidup x teratur kunun...wakakakak..if u noticed..i like to mentioned mutual friends instead of friend or best friend or member..or hommies..or what-so-fuck u wanna called it..named it..

why?

good question.

But i dun wanna answer dat. Go figure. Its a homework.

trus blank x tau apa mo tulis..sad ba..tau ka..sad...

:(

Owh-My-Health

Happy Dawn everyone..

Suddenly wake up from an empty dream n ask myself...why in the world do i have to be here when everyone else is busy slumber-ing their night away???~

Oh well..i think im getting sick..Ive been having this headache for two days straight now and even Panadol Soluble wont do..Plus im starting to feel hot and cold..inside and outside respectively..Dont need to say much..everybody knows i had a massive rival with SINUS..and that explains the runs on my nose..Voice are cracking..but i like it dou..erghhh...Forget it..whats the use of a husky voice if i have to bare with this stupid headache..I might just knock my head down at the wall if i had the guts..and if I dont love God much..I could've been swallowed a full bottle of painkillers and died the morning after..C.O.D of committing suicide..bluff!

I probably get this from Faye as she's been heavily sick too the past few days..Silly me for sharing the same bottle of water with her last week..And how super silly i am to walk under the rain just now.. Mannn..my immune is getting weaker each day..

or...

Maybe because ive been cutting down cigarettes these days..thus..the sickness??

*sigh*

Maybe I shud start smoking again.

glimpse

Why is it everytime i really need u to be there..u seems to get even more distance from me..?
Don't u know i miss u so much?
or i just dont matter to u anymore?
:(

no?

Currently listening to Beyonce's

1. Ego
2. Broken-hearted girl

No reason for not loving Beyonce eyh? Anyhooo...My days been so lame, spend the rest of the day sleeping as i cant sleep at all the nite before..end up having a really really bad head ache because Mr Sweet-Talker wake me up with a Morning Greeting..bLarh~

Talking about Mr Sweet-Talker, he's just a guy i know from a friend whom happen to be..well..according to him..."feel something new and extraordinary'' wit me..since the 1st day we met. Nope. I don't fall for that. Not that im being such a bitch, i just think that i am smart enough to fall for it..*clap clap*

From my observation, he's more like the type of guy who knows every inch of words that could melt a girl..yooha..a sweet-talker..Sweeeeeeeeeet. Yet, he's also the bad guy with a good heart n loving attitude..u know..like in the movie?

Aah..so..what happen is..He wanted me to be his girlfirend but how is that going to hapen when:

1. He had a girlfriend
2. I like him but i DON'T love him.


*sigh*...

Mr Sweet-talker still waiting for an answer and i haven't reply any of his calls n msg...Am I doing too much?

Such a huge Ego.

I wish you could see...

I wish you knew why I needed you to believe...

I wish I wasn't so fucking flawed...

I wish I stopped wishing...

Scumbag?

"u keep on giving me trouble!u are such a disgrace for this family!u nothing but a troublemaker!useless!"

Imagine having all these words shouted in ur face, by ur own mother.

What did I do to deserve this? Who am i supposed to blame for this??My own mother?God? These argument has been goin on for days now and tomorrow is her birthday. Everyday i wake up, i spend 1st hour thinking of whether or not i get out from my room. I hate those situations when we act like strangers whereas we are one family.

I might did many mistakes n troubles for this family..but does that mean im useless?i am nothing but a troublemaker?? Do u really mean it when u shout that to my face?who am i to u?U want me to walk put from this house?is that what u really want?You dont want me as your daughter anymore?

Why?

I am tired of trying to understand why life been treating me so cruel. People that did so many bad things seems so happy livin in their own fairytale life.Me?

This is not how my family used to be?why when things happen, u have to change as well?You think ur the only one who suffered?You think i never felt ur pain?u think im happy?

I am not happy. I never been happy. I lost everything i had, my studies, my hope, my love life, my dad!and ur love, ur love towards me, your daughter.

I cant find any better solution to this. I cant contribute anything to this family as u wish i can be. I cant be like my cousins. I cant be that.

I just wish my life ended here rite now..maybe that can make u happy.No more disgrace, no more trouble, no more burden.

For the last time,
Happy birthday Caroline Kassianus @ Victoria.
Thank u for being a mother to me for 21years.

For as long as i can take.

Current playlist:

Mulan Jameela- Lagu Sedih
Nicole Scherzinger- Happily Never After
Mayday Parade- Three Cheers For Another Five Years
Saosin- Voices
D'Masive- Merinduimu
BabyFace- Sorry For The Stupid Things
Taylor Swift- Crazier
BoysLikeGirls feat Taylor Swift- Two is better than one

Im having problem focusing. Im supposed to revise on my Marketing, but my minds gazing around somewhere, keep on thinking about ''shits-happen''..Its chases my focus away..

Last week has been so tough..Been having a small argument with my mum, its so small yet so hurtful. So yea, we're not talking at the moment. I hate it.

and as usual, felt those loneliness starting to crawl back in. When u r fine, people seems so easy to be around..the other way round when ur not in a good situation in ur life..everybody starting to be distance. But who am i to judge rite? Peoples are always moving, people live with choices and most of whom i know, chooose to NOT CARE.Kiasu.

If ur in my FB list, u might noticed a status update i made about being nicotine-free for two days?well..ive been nicotine-ed again just now..Isnt that the greatest feeling ever..no?

I feel like sleeping now but then i jsut cant stop myself from browsing utube and listening to M. Shadow..He sings so good i had orgasm.

"i know u want me to want u, i want too..."

Q-kie~

Im on Twitter..:)

I have a really bad mood. sad and unwanted kind of feeling. pretty damaged situation and i think a long title is just makin me looked so fucked up.

So, ive been away for quite some time..I often have the urge to write but as usual..the thoughts just slips away the moment i started jotting down..isnt that weird?or normal? well just for the record..and i know its going to sound so awfully random..but here is some reason why i start blogging.

1. Feels like talking to a wall.
Im not the type of person who likes to be so open up about my problems by talking it to others. As for me, i prefer to just buried it deep inside my heart and just pretend like i am having a ball..not ball..i mean..having a real good time. But in certain circumstances, i really need to talk about it, or just desperately need someone to be an ear..to just listen. And at that moment, i have none. No one to talk to. And it comes to the 1st reason, i jotted down every inch of my feeling in this blogg, just to make myself better..Savvy?

2. Im a selfish bitch.
Why?because most of the time i only wanna hear things that i WANNA hear. I often disagree with opinions that seems not right for me and end up sticking up with my own judgement. here, in my blog, i can talk whatever i want freely. No feedbacks, no comments, n no disagreement.

3. Didn't i just love writing so much.
I love writing..its been part of my life. Writing is greater than a boyfriend..greater than anything..

Tukar topic.

I had someone confess that he loves me?i dunno what to say..I dont know how to react actually.. He seems like a nice-bad-guy..But i just don't think im ready for a relationship..Plus,, he has a girlfriend..what an odd right?

Dear life..i dunno what to think anymore..please please please give me a break...at least one good news.

What am i thinking?

How can u love someone but u are not really sure about his feelings towards you.



AND



You loves this particular guy so much but at the same time flirting with a guy you just met?



How is that?



My life sucks. Period.

1...2...3...

I chases my thoughts away..
But my heart keep beating faster..
I take a deep breath..
but i still feel it..

...

I miss you..

wonder how u doin.

sincerely love, kisses and hugs.

fyka.

Just a moment of silencio..por favor..

haiiizzzzzz..

Okay...i am in my wits end to complete my assignment which has to be submit by 5pm..and now i am working my ass of to figure out this...:

10 advantages of advertising.
10 disadvantages of advertising

10 advantages of personal selling
10 disadvantages of personal selling

10 advantages of sales promotion
10 disadvantages of sales promotion

10 advantages of public relations
10 disadvantages of public relations

I was in heaven fer awhile but not after two "vakum" girls sit beside my table and gossiping about their roomies.....

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!

GILA KICK BISING DORG NE TAUUUUU...

I WOULD BE GLAD AND APPRECIATE IF THEY COULD JUST SLOW IT DOWN SO THAT I CAN THINK PROPERLY...ARGH!

Whataver...im off to 1b...maybe situation get better after lunch...
i desperately need to get away from them..
damn bibiran.

ish.

its so crucial baby.

Wazza people?

So, today has been awfully hot is it? I am burning ne ba..try to venture myself on how it feels like to take a nap..*since i have not been sleeping during noon hours for quite some time*..but..due to the high degree of weather, i end up just crawling and turning and tossing on my bed..and finally end up crying myself to sleep...still..mission incomplete.

Thank God i only had one class today..plus..i had a very nice and laid-back lunch with Clare..just talking about schools, jobs, money, partey, future, n problems..Speaking about problems..i cant help myself but to hold my tears from dropping..

I just cant stand it everytime mum talks to me about her problems..not that i dont care..but tis just too heartbreaking for me..Every time mum talks about how hard it is for us n especially for her to keep pur family every month..i feel theres a big hole inside my heart..i look into my mum's eyes and i can see her pain..her sacrifices..

I know how much mum miss daddy so much..i can actually every little pain that cost her..And i feel really really bad to be part of this family but theres nothing i can do..Sometimes i feel like giving everything up..quit everything n started looking for money to help the burden of my family...yet...this is not the only way...i dont wanna think short n take my future very lightly..

my mum didnt issue every cash for our education..just to see myself end up quitting every single things that mum had invest for me..How i wish mum know how much i really care about this family..how much i really love her even though i seldom show that i care..how much i really get affected about the situation that we livin in now.

Being a very rebellious daughter, i often hide my feeling from mum. i wont let her know that i am sad..or when im in trouble or facing problems..i never let her know that im in my wits end..

For now..the only thing i can do is just..patient n to be grateful..another three weeks n im done with study..i had few plans in my minds..whether to continue my study..or started looking for jobs...

till then..thats the only thing i can do..

With lots of love n respect..
Vale.

i have sleeping issues.U just like a pill..cherry cherry boom boom.

FYI, I jsut finished chatting with an old friend of mine.."an OLD FRIEND"..*doing the double-peace thingy*..

Literally..
this girl is the one who...erm..
ok la..malas mo ckp byk kan..
im fine..i just don't understand why..
moments after we finished chatting..
i realize that i dont have to help her at all..

Me, myself is full of mess..
and there i am trying to help her solving her problems?
Plus..she is the one who...
ermm..

fine la..
bagus p cari kegembiraan..
ada kehidupan lagi..
hehe.


Jom main Left4dead?

hati-hati bila bercakap.

Hari yang sungguh panas dan saya sedang mengalami bad-hair-day..
rambut sudah panjang..
rambut sudah tebal..
hujung rambut kering, nampak macam pubic hair.
mau get a hair-cut tp rasanya duit tinggal rm1.
hari ni sungguh panas gila babeng..
saya mau hisap rokok dan sebentar lagi akan ke rumah sepupu untuk mengumpat.
bikin hilang boring ba tu..dan tambah dosa.
sepa benci saya sila angkat tangan, saya ingin berterima kasih.
saya tiada issue..issue yang ada saya.
issue suka ikut saya ke mana saya pergi sebab saya mempunyai raut wajah yang comel..
terutama sekali bila dilihat dar pandangan atas..mata saya nmpak bulat..
tp itu semua hanya super-imposed sahaja..
rokok pun tinggal satu batang, mungkin lepas ni terpaksa hisap rokok mentol kepunyaan faye dan pearl..tidak sedap..rasa mcam minum clorox.
Dunhill light kegemaran terbaru..marlboro rasa mcam makan sirih.
tapi..hisap juga tatkala waktu2 desperate melanda.
susah mau berhenti merokok?itu semua mainan minda sahaja.
jangan easily temakan saiko..nanti semua benda tidak tercapai..
senang sja mau berhenti..cuma saya belum ready..
malas mau jadi hipokrit.
jadi, tunggu apa lagi?
bakar la..
lepas ne kalau sakit dada, sendiri tanggung.
sila tepuk tangan.

I was damn lucky.

Current situation: still shaking.

I am now in my room, still wearing my 'baju jalan'. For the record, i just survived in a minor accident. Noticed the word MINOR. Yea..minor but its really horrifying to me. It was my fault, i admit it. Plus..there were no street light, and i was sms-ing that time. I was wrong. I was stupid. and i was careless.Put the blame on me..:(

thankfully..the damaged was not teruk sangat la..minor only..but still i do feel bad about everything..my mom have to issue money..the car need to be fixed..i gave my family a massive-shocking moment..damn it..i feel really2 bad...plus..a 1 year old baby girl is involved and thank god she is okay...

Mannnnnnn..bad things just keep on comin to my family..and the most sucking things are..there is nothing i can do..i dont have anything in me..i have no money, i have no jobs..i am completely zero. I have given so many troubles to my family..why????????????????????//why i still giving them troubles????????????

i am so.....LOST....SAD...

Vale is going down.

NOT.

I am currently suffering from a bad hangover due to the so-called Raya Aramaitii..yeap..they're not only serving lotsa fancy mancy biscuits but also..Mr. Chivas and Label 5..as well as Mr. Tiger..waittt...errr..I still feel like puking..

..

So, yesterday was very tiring..went to Wan's house in Nongkulub and was totally in love with the Kek Lapis Oreo Chips..hmmmmm~Sorry dou, no pictures available..was so busy testing all the foods..ngeee...mo diet la ne pas raya is over...ya right.

From Wan house, also went to a family friend's house which i basically know them..but they knew my father..and the Chicken Curry was superb..i was actually making a third round with it..heee..lalalalalalala~after eating session, we went inside the living room..(of course insisted by the Tuan Rumah)..the living room is really really nice..from the carpets till it large screen TV..everything just make u feels like home..:)...And here is when the alcohols involved..aiyaaa...its really hard to have a Tambunan blood u see.

Headache, sinus and hungry..but still have so many houses to go..to Beaufort today..haaa...crazy.

Till then, take care peeps and watch what ur eating aite..owwwh..did i mentioned i had a diarrhea yesterday too..erm nevermind..peace out.

Selamat Hari Raya.

OMGaaahhhhhh...its Raya again..hehehe..how come Raya wud be this early leh?bukan dat dat Puasa is on 22nd aa?then 20rd Raya odi..bulum cukup 1 bulan..?????hahaha..wataver la..im just plain dumb..

I'll be goin out in a few minutes and started visiting my Muslim's frens for 'beraya' activity..hehe..

So, Happy Raya everybody...Maaf Zahir dan Batin..

before i go..here's a little Qkie..

Matters to accomplish during Raya:

1. Makan Lemang.
2. Makan Satay (klu ada)
3. Makan Kuih Batang Buruk.
4. Mo dapat duit Raya.(klu ada)

Yay!

Kiasu.

SaBTU-Day morning and im feelin down?maybe?maybe not..I need to keep my feeling and my state of mind in the most stable condition that i could..Just a wrong turn can change my mood to a disaster..I don't want it to happen..Please.

The Parents and the Bro are goin back to hometown today..as usual..i be the one who stays..Should i invited him to come over?......Maybe not..he wouldn't want it.

So, its just gonna be me, good music, great books and my bed.

Happy Saturday everybody.

*sigh*

adult-life sucks.
single-hood life sucks.

General Cleaning activity is a day full of OMG-combo.

Im suppposed to write about this general cleaning thingy yesterday but..Yesterday i was busy having late-nite-sports-activity..if u know wat i mean.

My rooms has been so abondened for months now..don't be surprised..i am such a lazy bum when its come to cleaning..not that i am not a cleanliness little gurl okay..im just so allergic to dust..i cant handle dust very well and everytime i try to clean the fan or even vacum-ing my room..i ended up having a pretty bad sinus..that cause me to consume 2 pills of Uphamol Flu with 650mg each..So, u got the reason kan?

The best part is..General Cleaning helps u to found things that u long look for and never thought u will ever found them...stuffs that u don't even know u have them..stuffs that brings back memories..stuffs that makes u cursed..and whole lots of stuff..I kinda lazy to summarized more...and i am not in a good mood..i miss someone too much that i cried..so..just let the picas do the talking..

This is how my room looks like DURING the general cleaning

yea,,this is my laundry if u mind asking.

OMGaahhhhh...I can't believe this paper still exist..
I passed this paper around when im in sem 6 during Legal class.
This lectures and the lecturer as well is so boring it could kill me slowly..
so i passed this and asked everybody to comment about it..
just for fun..huahuahua.

I finally found my favorite movie of all..very very nice..

omg...porn..I cant recall since when i have these..Porn as well..punyaaa bidaaa...kin malu.

And this is Faye..i heart u arse..haha.

So long sweet summer.

You know what?

If u ask me did i miss you..Yes..i did miss you..i miss you like i never miss anyone before..i miss it when u were always there for me and chases all my sorrows away..

If u ask me did i still love u..yes i still love u..its just that i dont have the urge to tell u this anymore because i know its always gonna be u love her..i guess i just have to remain silence about all my feelings instead if telling all about it to you because its against karma..if you know what i mean..i know u dont understand..u never understand..

If u ask me if im tired of all this..yes i am extremely tired of all these because for almost two years..its been a really tiring roller-coaster ride or merry-go-round or what-so-fuck u wanna call it..i finally know things will never changed because i know u so well..and enuf said.I know u so well.

If u ask me why i lied..the answer is because i love u so much, i don't even want to hurt ur feelings..which i know its better to be honest than hiding...but the reason is I just don't want to ruin what we had.what we USED to have..

If u ask me do i really wanna be gone..yes i really wanna be gone because its hurting me and im tired of understanding peoples..including you..im tired of being patient..Im not sure if my heart can really handle this..im not sure if i am going to end up walking with my heads up..shows up on your wedding day and gives the sincere smiles ever to u and her OR if i end up being a total-loser and still mourning over losing your love, keeping your pictures, keeping ur things and get myself a big-distruction...No...I dont know that..im not sure about that.

If u ask me did I regret of having u in my life..the answer is No..because im not regretting the fact that u are part of my life..ONCE..i just regret about the choices i made..

If u ask me did I hate you..No..i don't hate because of all the hurts n pain i felt..u have shown me the meaning of life..the meaning of patients..the meaning of give and take..and tolerate..the meaning of love..the meaning of losing someone u love..the meaning of seeing someone u love loving other woman..u have shown me that..and that is why i cant hate you because u had open my eyes..that life is not a bed of roses..life will not always happen as what we wish for..as what we want it to be or what so ever..

I am going down.Period.
I gave up.

U may go now..go as u wish..leave me as u wish..go..and be happy..all the best in life because thats what i really want for u..happy.

I just don't give a damn anymore.

Gewd Morning ladies and dudeys..

I suddenly felt the urge to blogg..Nothing specific to write about actually..i guess i just need those therapy..

So, yesterday was a really lonely day..Yesterday is one of those day i feel like having no-life and no-fren..mutually frens..or what-so-fucking-ever..I was trying to called up some frens to have lunch together...and this is how it goes..

*text msg*

Vale:ui...bgun da ka?
faye:yaaa...tp msi limpang2 lg ne..napa bebot?
vale:teda..bored ba..meh p mkn...
faye:ba..sy mandi la dulu..
vale:ok..

Vale:Ui..mana ko ne?
clare:d ruma sy..napa?
Vale:errrr...baru mo bawa ko p momom..ndapa la..
clare:okies...

that was 12pm...

2hrs later..

Vale:UI..ko siap da ka?
Faye:hehe..sy jln sm Ryan ne..
Vale:oo ok ok..
Faye:sowie bebot..
vale:.....

*sigh*...My stomach are growling and i dont have the appetite to eat..unless..yea..if i have company..I grab my towel and take a cold-shower..well..at least it makes me feel a bit better..

random: I wonder why one of our photo looks the same..even the caption is almost the same..aah..screw it.Afterall..this post is about "I just don't give a damn anymore".

4pm...

I turned off my crappy lappy and put on some clothes..i barely even noticed that my hair were already dry..I randomly pick some old dress and grab my bag and my car keys..and heading to the place where my minds is instructing..

the library.

Yup. i went to the library..i made a membership card..and started browsing on some cool books to read..yaaa i know..its hard to believe that i loves reading so much eyh..well..i don;t have to tell u guys everything..blarh!

So, i borrowed myself the best 4 books and i have 2 weeks to finish it..

ow yup..i actually borrowed 6 books but apparently, the librarian said i could only borrow 4 books at a time..i was kinda curious because Faye got to borrow 14 books the last time i remember..I asked the person in charge and surprise surprise..I can only borrow up to 14 books if i have the family membership card..which is..only applicable to those who are married....

*bingung*..helooooo...Faye is not married okay..crazy.hahah.But enuf said..at least i got these books to made love with..okay im being sarcastic..u guys dont think that i really mad love with a book right?hmm.

This is my new library card.

And these are the books i'll be reading to ease my chronicle boredom.

That was about my books.

5.30pm..

Vale:Sel..ko d mana..
Adeq:aku otw pulang ne dr ambi c Eya..napa Vale?
Vale:oo..aku ingt ko around kk..
Adeq:ooo..mesti ko minta tlg aku reload ne kan..
Vale:ui..teteda ba..aku kira mo bawa ko stay..
Adeq:ooo..
Vale:ui..aku pun otw balik ne..ko mo stay d kfc beverly..?
Adeq:hmm..nda la..hehe..len kali la k..
Vale:...

*call Faye*

ringing....

still ringing..

ok ok i get it..Shes busy doing you-know-what.

*text msg*

Vale:ui..ko msi d ruma ka?
Clare:iyaaaa..
Vale:hmm..xpala..
Clare:hmm..ko blum mkn ne kan..sorry vale..sy d ruma Boy sda..
Vale:....

*faye called*

Faye:ui..napa?
Vale:napa?meh kwn sy mkn..sy lum mkn ne dr pg..
Faye:ui...sy d Ruma Ryan ne..
Vale:oo..ok ok..sorry2..
Faye:okay..
Vale:.....

Finally, i ended up waiting for my little brother to finish school and bring him to eat KFC with me..Yes..i ate with my 13year old brother.

My body is not a temple, my heart is.

So, i went out with my cousins today. Faye and Dale. Since its Sunday and we got empty to-do-list, we spend the rest of the day wandering around the mall and hanging out at Ryan's crib..(He is in Australia for some job courses thingy.)

Our girls day out went nice and kinda laid-back. We cook spaghetti, watch some chick's flick movies, smoking light cigarettes, drinking coke, play guitar and of course girl's talking session..its a must..not that we take it as a compulsory but its just blurt out naturally when we're together..especially when its the three of us..Its sumthing that i most prefer to call it as SISTERHOOD.

Random: My phone been zero-credits for few days already now. Money issue.

So, as we were having our girls talk..My mind suddenly reminds me of someone very special to me. Someone that im still reserves a place in the heart for..Thoughts by thoughts slipping to my mind..I wasnt paying enuf attention to Dale's confession at all..I miss him..i miss the precense of him..*sigh*

Am i still hoping?or am i moving on already?

bored

Random: My lappy went kaput. Have to blog thru my mum's lappy..Dammit i hate computers ith lagging problems..challenging my passion..)(*&^%.

Been neglecting my blog for so long, only now that i have the time to drop by. So, whats what and whats not?

Time goes by so fast..I dont realize its already in the mid of August. Tommorow wil be the first day of Puasa. and a month later will be Raya...Hmm..i love raya so much..wanna know why?

1. Kuih Muih yang tidak lekang menggoda perut yang tidak sexy lagi tidak berkualiti.

2. Peluang untuk drive jauh2 semata2 ingin menghadiri rumah2 terbuka..

3. Peluang untuk mendapat duit raya sebanyak rm2...*heheehehe*

4. And the list goes on.

Random: Suddenly miss my friends. I miss my them so much..miss those happy ang laughing moment..Aiyaaaa...emotions attack..hate it..gimme my cold-heart back.

Ive been browsing for ne movies just now and i cant wait for theesssseeeeeeeeeeeee...!!!

.

Its hard for me to forget and stop loving you without crying..Been crying for almost 2 hours now that I almost lose my breath..If i were a girl with irrational mind..i would have stop my life already. This is where i lose everytime i try to built myself up..I just cant do it without crying.

If only there is an easy way for me to go thru this..Its just hard for me to accept that i would be far from you..not feeling your love anymore..not having you anymore..not seeing you..not hearing from you..Its hurt me bad to leave but I have to do it for myself..either way..its still going to hurt..

Damn...I miss you so much u never know.. if only u knew wat i feel rite now..can u just hug me?just hug me and let me cry..You don't know how much i really need you by my side rite now..

For the record

PEOPLE SHOULD JUST
STOP ACTING LIKE THEY CARE.

I remember.

Its been almost a year since u really left me..

I remember the day u really wanna get rid of me from ur life and ur relationship..I cant help myself but thinking of how am i going to live my life without u. All this while ive been having u as my shoulder. The one who listens and loves me tender. Well im not sure about it now anymore.

I remember the day u say u wanna took care of me..and get rid of all the things that comes between us..but i messed up..someone comes in between and im torn. Having another man in my life at that moment just making my life even worse. Times has fly..now i can really say that i never love the other..Its too bad he just one of those man that im using..to cure my broken heart cause by u..

I remember the day we started clinging..How i wake up every morning listens to ur voice or at least a text saying good morning and have a nice day..At that time, i never thought i would fall so deeply in love with u..At that time, i already had a plan of my own..But suddenly u came and im...

I remember listening to ur problems..sharing ur sadness..and laughter...celebrate ur new life..And i dunno how..i. already in love..with u..

U dont know how i feel to see u leave..honestly yes..u never know wat it feels like to really loss someone because i was always there for u..But u never do the same to me..u love another..and u dismissed me..

I cant explain how..but im still attached to what we been through before...shud i embrace it forever or shud i hate it..because im starting to hate it..im starting to hate our memories..im starting to hate everything that ever happens..but why cant i hate u?u hurt me bad but i still want u..

pls..help me move on..im exhausted..i give up.

Already.

Morning regrets..

The time now is 9.53am and my im officially reporting my location at the moment..Uitm's Library. Frankly calculate, ive been here since 8-ish am something..Im supposed to have class on Statistic at 8am but hell with it..the class was canceled and the moment im informed..i was walking down the hills towards my classroom already...How savvy was that..My friday morning starts with a last minute class cancelation...grrrr....So Lame~

This is how unpredictable my day can be in UITM..being the only girl among my friends who have to extend my course..This semester is really a big challenge for me..Theres no more walkings with my girlfriends..no more gossiping with my classmate..All the time..i will be following the guys just so that i at least have companion..Everytime my lecturer give away 5 or 10 minutes break..the boys will be out to have a foo..and i'll be coming as well just to warm up from the feeling of frozen in class due to the low temperature of aircond demanded by the lecturer..sometimes i wonder if they were humans???????vampire maybe..urgh~

After foo-ing..the guys will usually go to our so-called canteen to fill their hungry stomach..and i will be the most happiest person at that time that i will lead all the boys in front and biting my lips..Are you kidding me???I love this part right here..hehehe...This is the best time to get foods as everybody will be stuck in cass and you wont be standing in a long line..So..overall..from 10minutes break..we end up having 20minutes break..and the moment we step back in class..Our lecturer will give that killer looks..deeply meaning that we are so stupidly late..

So..thats how it goes everyday in UITM..
Boring and Lame..*same thing isn't it*

Okay then..
over and out..

Not again....

I was sitting in front of my lappy when my friend suddenly rang me about new singing audition to be held in town. It calls MyStarz LG audition. Basically, yala..of course la its for LG kan..hmm..and not long after 5 minutes..one of my girlfrens pun suddenly alarmed me abt the audition..They invited me to go audition with them as well...

Geeeezzzz....i just dunno..i dun think i wanna try for another singing audition..i just get enough..maybe i need a little more time in my own for the time being..weeee~For all my friends that plans to go for this audition..Goody Lucky and all the best yaaa....:-)...U guys are all a bunch of talented creature..heheheheh..

A day full of OMG - combo.

I finished my class as early as 10am today. Feelin the crave of the greatest KFC, i called up one of my best buddy Clare and invited her along to have a meal. As we arrived, the parking was overly loaded and i have to parked beside the restaurant which is clearly not a parking lot..wookaaayyy...

*reality check:-

- It is not a parking lot, but people park their car there all the time.
- Traffic officer seldom do a spot check on my area and its like once in a blue moon, they suddenly there..to summons..errghh..~

So yeap..as far as enjoyed my KFC meal this morning..i have to change my mind because im about to puked back my half-ly digested foods inside my stomach once i saw the summons ticket.Blarh!

But they Yang side of my day today was...i got myself a part-time job...yay! So, I sign myself up to become a part-time tutor..im goin to teach English and Bahasa for form 1,2 and 3 students. So what if my paycheck is kinda low..at least i have some pockets money from now on..heee..:-)

btw..Tomorrow is my Marketing class..gonna look drop dead gorgeous just as a payback time..weee~Gotta go look for my killer heels now..

Till Then..Take care folks..
Hugs n Kisses..MMMMUUUAAAAHHHHHHHXXXX!

Okay...ur the boss..

Today is quite a bad day for me..Apart from being given a 3sets of assignments about Malaysian Economy..which require a full research about Industrial Sector in Malaysia..Ive been extremely humiliated by my Marketing Lecturer.

Lect: Are you wearing sandals?
Me: Errr..yes sir.
Lect: Why are you wearing sandals? Where is your heels?*crouching his eyebrow*
Me: Erm..i didn't wear it today.
Lect: Why?
Me: I dunno know im supposed to wear heels for this class..*showing welfare expression*
Lect: Okay..took off your sandals now and bring it in front..u will only be able to collect your sandals when this class dismissed. Class, my rules are my rules. Simple..If u disobey it, its not my problem.
Me:*speechless and slowly placed my sandals in front and get back to my back row seat.. barefoot.*

I feel so terrible and embarrass at the same time..my face turns red even my ears can blow off some smokes..Gezzzz..mannnn...Seriously..none can be worst than this..

Doesnt matter if im wearing my super 5inches heels or wearing my flip flop sandals..it seriously doesnt effect even 0.01% of my attention towards this subject..shit..ive been insulted..in front all the junior students..blarh. I try to cover my legs with my baju kurung towards the whole period and try to stay focus as i dont want to let them know that i am affected by it..but who gives a shit anyway..

Im still sad....:-(
somebody...someone...
pls entertain me....:-(

Im doing it random-ly..

Where have all the good boys gone???????

a Q-kie.

Im sitting on my bed trying to make a good introduction for this post of mine..and after several attempt to figure out the best writing skills, i talk to myself..why am I doing this to myself? I mean, why do I have to even think of the most preferable option to start writing about what im going to express. I dont know..i guess im just being silly and its a total Not-Ok-Material.

So, its Saturday night. Instead of goin out and enjoying my life outside..i rather stay at home and locked myself in the room and get myself on9-ing. I just dont feel like getting high and wasted these days. Last night, i went to meet a friend of mine at Easyway Lintas..we kinda have a nice chit-chat moment..plus its bloody raining outside and its friggin cold..just the way i like it..*wink*

At the same time, Suziey texted me and asked me to join them at Jugs..after catching up with my friend, im off to Jugs and see whats interesting...Apparently, Jugs was still Jugs..and it is not appealing anymore..at least for me..i dont know about them..or maybe im just not in the mood of club-hoping..I only took one glass of mixed tequila that time as i wasnt planned to drink at all..

Feelin the boredomness in Jugs..they decided to move to Razz ma Tazz..Im thinking of going straight back home but they insisted me to drop by...Being the nice-and-sweet-little-Vale..I did. As we entered Razz..it gives me the chills..the memories of me getting my self badly drunk on Odell's birthday...Grrrrr~I only drank 1 glass of Tiger and a glass of Long Island and i must say i was tipsy..Mannnn...im not bluffing and im seriously not being a bitch of saying this..but I can handle Alcohol..i mean..really good. Few glasses is not a problem for me..But i guess im just not in the mood to drink and that explains why.

After about an hour passed..I told Suziey i need to go home because i promised my mum i would be home by 1am..*padahal sengaja mo balik awal ne ba..hehehehe..* So, I did the goodbyes and drove home.Smp ruma ja trus tidur...ZzZzZzZ~Overall.it was just an OK night.

Thats about last night.

This morning i went out breakfast with Faye, my best cuzzy in the world. Gosh..i missed her ne ba..we talked a lot..as usual..and we from certain topics to another topics..hehe..after breakfast..we drop by to his BF home, and Ryan and we decided to go jalan2 at 1B...Anddddddd....

I bump into my ex bf when i was in form 2.Needed me to say more?...huh..okay..what a terrible awkward moment there..Enough already.

So..that was that..Pearl..texted me saying she wants to bring me lepak kdai Kaling..

Bye2 peeps..

hugs and kisses..

me..