its so crucial baby.

Wazza people?

So, today has been awfully hot is it? I am burning ne ba..try to venture myself on how it feels like to take a nap..*since i have not been sleeping during noon hours for quite some time*..but..due to the high degree of weather, i end up just crawling and turning and tossing on my bed..and finally end up crying myself to sleep...still..mission incomplete.

Thank God i only had one class today..plus..i had a very nice and laid-back lunch with Clare..just talking about schools, jobs, money, partey, future, n problems..Speaking about problems..i cant help myself but to hold my tears from dropping..

I just cant stand it everytime mum talks to me about her problems..not that i dont care..but tis just too heartbreaking for me..Every time mum talks about how hard it is for us n especially for her to keep pur family every month..i feel theres a big hole inside my heart..i look into my mum's eyes and i can see her pain..her sacrifices..

I know how much mum miss daddy so much..i can actually every little pain that cost her..And i feel really really bad to be part of this family but theres nothing i can do..Sometimes i feel like giving everything up..quit everything n started looking for money to help the burden of my family...yet...this is not the only way...i dont wanna think short n take my future very lightly..

my mum didnt issue every cash for our education..just to see myself end up quitting every single things that mum had invest for me..How i wish mum know how much i really care about this family..how much i really love her even though i seldom show that i care..how much i really get affected about the situation that we livin in now.

Being a very rebellious daughter, i often hide my feeling from mum. i wont let her know that i am sad..or when im in trouble or facing problems..i never let her know that im in my wits end..

For now..the only thing i can do is just..patient n to be grateful..another three weeks n im done with study..i had few plans in my minds..whether to continue my study..or started looking for jobs...

till then..thats the only thing i can do..

With lots of love n respect..
Vale.