Scumbag?

"u keep on giving me trouble!u are such a disgrace for this family!u nothing but a troublemaker!useless!"

Imagine having all these words shouted in ur face, by ur own mother.

What did I do to deserve this? Who am i supposed to blame for this??My own mother?God? These argument has been goin on for days now and tomorrow is her birthday. Everyday i wake up, i spend 1st hour thinking of whether or not i get out from my room. I hate those situations when we act like strangers whereas we are one family.

I might did many mistakes n troubles for this family..but does that mean im useless?i am nothing but a troublemaker?? Do u really mean it when u shout that to my face?who am i to u?U want me to walk put from this house?is that what u really want?You dont want me as your daughter anymore?

Why?

I am tired of trying to understand why life been treating me so cruel. People that did so many bad things seems so happy livin in their own fairytale life.Me?

This is not how my family used to be?why when things happen, u have to change as well?You think ur the only one who suffered?You think i never felt ur pain?u think im happy?

I am not happy. I never been happy. I lost everything i had, my studies, my hope, my love life, my dad!and ur love, ur love towards me, your daughter.

I cant find any better solution to this. I cant contribute anything to this family as u wish i can be. I cant be like my cousins. I cant be that.

I just wish my life ended here rite now..maybe that can make u happy.No more disgrace, no more trouble, no more burden.

For the last time,
Happy birthday Caroline Kassianus @ Victoria.
Thank u for being a mother to me for 21years.