As I started typing, I realized that I have reach to a certain point where I don't know what to do about my life. As pathetic as it sounds, I really have to admit that I am currently jobless, money-less,loveless and I bet there's more to come. I don't know if it has anything to do with the fact that I'm hitting the cougar list, PMS, or maybe its a test from God?
1. Jobless
Well apparently, I am not really jobless la its just that I am having a really2 long 4 months semester break and I am officially an unproductive youth who spends most of her time at home, being an internet-freak, worrying about weight issue, wondering if she can make a dollar via internet marketing and hell to the yeah..the list goes on. Being at home is totally not what makes a person to have a care-free and worry-less life..Ironically, you have more time to think about the future and when you realized that you have no freakin idea about how your future going to be,that's when the worry kicks in..and when you worry, you try to calm yourself by acting like you don't give a damn and pretending that it didn't effect you at all..BUT IT ACTUALLY BOTHERS EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF YOUR LIFE..Sorry to say but you're screwed..big time.
You must be thinking to yourself, If i'm Jobless,why not considering a part time job,right?Well the answer may lead you to..
2. Broke.
Yes, I am totally Broke. Usually in times like these I prefer to just calm myself by saying things like 'money comes and go', things gonna be okay and stuff but i'll be lying if I said dat it didint paranoid me..I feel useless at certain time because I cant even pay for a bus ride to go look for a job..each time I go out from my house is an expenses. And due to this problems, I seldom top-up my phone,go out even just for roti kosong at mamak's like I always did, and many more. Yea,life sucks at the moment for me.
3.LDR
For those of you who dont have a clue about what LDR means, Its actually a shortform for Long Distance Relationship and yeap, I am one of those who involved with this kind of relationship now. To tell you truth, I never believe in LDR, because I dont think couples could get a very good communication without being able to see each other face to face. And my relationship is pretty much sucks right now. I dont like the way things go I might as well have a change of heart.Lets just see how long I can stay. Karma is a bitch.
4.Family problem
Me and my mom..*sigh*
I am just so freakin tired of caring too much on everything but nobody cares about me. I am not emo mind you, Im just lack of motivation. Fuck this, Fuck that, Fuck everything.
Dear Heart, Please stop getting involved in everything. Your job is to pump blood, that's it.
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