Every now and then, I always remind myself to be focus on what I really want in my life and stay on track to make sure my life is moving towards what I aim for. But, every now and then, too, I found myself drowning in uncertainties as if I am trapped in a darkness and my vision is blur..It makes me think that maybe I am too afraid of stepping out from my comfort zone because I don't want to take the risk and bare with the consequences I might face.
Yes. I am very very pessimist. And I have a very very low self-confidence. Peoples who knows me will say that I am very positive and enthusiastic in everything, from opinions, advises, to decisions. But, peoples who knows me well, will know that my biggest flaw is self-confidence. Sometimes,in certain situation I feel like I have NONE of it and I ended up bluffing this and that.
Random: If I happen to be in a job interview, I will not mention about having low self-esteem as my biggest weakness. Its like a taboo for me. Na-a.
I guess, having this problem is the main reason why I keep on putting my life on pause because I just cant believe in my ability. I know that I can go far by trusting my guts but something always holding me back from grabbing opportunities. My biggest concern is, my future, my career to be exact. As an eldest child, I carry a very big responsibility in my shoulder and my goal is to make life easier for me and my family. How the hell am I supposed to achieve that by having this so called 'denial' I bury inside me?
I don't have much time left you see, I only have one semester left and i'll be off for my practical and my practical determine what kind of 'supply' is going to feed me. Damn, I guess tonight is going to be another sleepless night for me.
Facts: When something is bothering me, I always think about how to change my life and how my life is going to change before I go to sleep.
By the way, Happy Fasting to all of you respectful Muslims.
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