Ready, get set, Go!~

argghhhhhhh.....

*deep breath*

Okay..im goin to make dis short and simple..

Its my fault. And im having problems confessing it. But not anymore. Im sorry, i shouldnt have reacted the way i act last night. Please forgive me.

Seee, i can be a nice gurl too sumtimes.

Disclaimer: I really do regret wat i did. and i know nothing can take back the words i said. Believe me, i dun really mean it, im just saying it because im angry. Im ready to be grounded.

My words,my thought,my body and my soul.

Due to some unexplainable and personal reasons, i deleted my previous post.

Somehow somewhere along the line I lost the urge to use my words the way I always do. I cant speak them and more importantly I can't write them down. The inspiration has always been there but whenever I hold a pen or sit here with my fingers touching the keys I cant seem to start and not stop until Im done. Even now Im having so much difficulty writing a whole sentence. Thats also the reason why I deleted my last post. The truth is there wasnt one. I just couldnt do it.

I always find a way to fix anything "broken", in me or in someone else. There was always a solution, another perspective not previously thought of that I caught on and build upon but this time I just dont see it. I just dont know what is the solution to this. If I dont find one soon i'll probably flunk out of Uni and end up with nothing again.

The words just dont mean anything to me anymore. Even words that arent personal.

A good heart is what I have he said.What use is a good heart if it feel nothing but negative feelings?

Hot!Hot!

Happpy Saturday people...

To start with...yea..he wakes me up today and i was quite surprised..Well..its been so long since he last did that to me..kinda reminds me of the way we used to be before..u know..waking uo with his voice saying the greatest good morning everrrr~~~Hush vale..u overdoing it..*grin*..

It was bloody hot outside and my entire room feels like a favaourable sauna that i am completely wet rite now..Nope..not wet..i am sweating to be precise..hehe..I think its because of the global warming the earth is facing right now and i am totally not happy about it...

Arggg...i want aircond in my room...duhhh...why the sudden im being so selfish??

gotta go people..drink lotsa water okay..and yeap..do apply osme sunscreen onto ur skin if ur planning to go out aite...i told ya..it friggin hot!

Till then..
mmush mmush my Saturday Hero..

Now or never

Today s my last class with my classmates. Final exam is just around the neighbourhood and after that will be eternal farewell...argghh...hate is..once again..all the people that i cherish just gotta leave...

Well..its nobody's faults actually..people have their life and so was mine..im just frustrated that im the one who leave behind..

As for now, i only have my friends that can really cheer me up..I dont know how its gonna be like when everybody started pursuing in degree..will i ever meet them..will there be any practical jokes we use to have in class?..Damn..Why do all good things come to an end?

I guess i just have to face it like a real adult as im entering it in no time. For sure we will meet again but at that moment..changes...is all i will see...

I better start studying now.

hmm..after watching One in a million.hehe..

Sorry..no mood to be serious.

Bubbye.

Move along.

Well..im just bored okay..and feeling a bit lonely n yada yada yada..

Went to watched Fast and Furious 4 today and it was superb. I like the way Dom raise up his head in a 45degree after winning the god damn furious race..whoa..and owh yup..also the part when he said the type of girl he like must be 20% angel and 80% devil..That doesnt sound a bit like me eyh?

Crap.

Nothing much to write right now. Yes ive been thru some shits and life sounded more like hell these days but it didnt contribute to even a tiny spot of progress if i keep whining about it again and again right..i mean, that is what life supposed to be..there are events of ups and down occured and there also a so-called happiness and sorrow..

Of all the hardships that ive been thru for almost two years now, can say that ive changed a lot, may it be internally or externally..myself are 100% affected. Im getting matured in making my perception, whereby my point of view always take place before an impulse of reaction reach to my brain. But most of all, my whole life has changed..family, friendship, relationship, financial, study,future..Everything is not under control and im still trying to fit in and pulling back the gravity..There are times when i feel completely lost and really wanna giving up life..*if u know wat i mean..*, but, there are still part of me says hold on to it..and im still here..Even without any mutual person that can really stand beside me and tell me that everything is gonna be alright..im still here..

Ive been hearing people's problems every single day. People come to me for opinions, for solutions, and even comforts. And thats when im doing my part..i keep telling people what they wanna hear..i keep telling people what they should and should not do, and i keep telling people that they gonna be okay.There, i just dont think they realize that they are actually seeking advices from a depressed person. I think this is somehow an ironic events and related to the terms everything happens for a reason. Im facing lotsa problems and with it, i can simply help people to go thru shits as im facing it before..does it make sense?

Shit.
Its funny when i can handle other people problems and cant really handle mine?

So, thats that. Life keep on moving on and i need to do the same..Eventhough sumtimes i feel like pressing the 'self-destruction' button..but i just dont wanna let my life end that way..I just dont wanna go thru another regrets ive done before..Enough is enough..God has its way on showing us happiness and i hold on to that.

So, from nothing for a pretty long rant huh..this is not a post specifically pointing to anybody..just my thoughts that craft based on my experience in life...and the list goes on..

Till then..
move along.

So-called democracy.

Democracy?Its a fiction. It never really happen especially in my Uni.

Where do all the student's rights when we really need it? Where do justice when we students are really depending on it?

System= Anda telah disabitkan atas kesalah tidak menghadiri kuliah tanpa kebenaran pensyarah sebanyak kali dan sebagai hukuman, anda perlu membayar denda sebanyak rm60.

whattttttt theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk???

Okay..

Im Valerie Anthia Joseph, admitted for performing three times absence without any diclose of informatiin from my lecturer but........

why do i have to pay for a total rm60?
If there also a fine, why does it cost so expensive?
Why do a first-timer like me cant be given any consideration?(eg: Warning)
and oh yup...can i get rm20 per day for attending class everyday because u bastard authority are doing it vice versa????!!!!

Im not questioning the power of top-level management. Im just feel that the punishment is somehow way too heavy for students. Student have their own reason for absence in fact students are normal human too..there are things called overslept, personal and fmaily problems occur in our life!

I have no other words..*shaking my heads*

Peace.Out.

Randomnessssss~

Really lazy to blogg..hoho...

I dont know much.

First of all , let me appologize on behalf of this entry's title. Its nothing related with it, just some song's line that stuck in my head..

"i dont know much, but i know i love u"...*humming*..it sounds a lit bit like that..

Today is a typical Thursday..Nothing much has happened except for the unexpected date...or shud i say the unexpected text first?

Ignore my stupidity..

The point is, im happy to see you. To spend time with you even for a short period. Thanx for putting a smile on me and thank you for the presence of YOU. I hope you feel the same way too.

I know theres so much goin on right now. I can see it in your eyes. The way u start to gaze your eyes around when u were chewing on your meals. The way u look at me when you suck on your straw. It all lays there..on those beautiful eyes of yours. So much preassure graffiti on your forehead and your smile are so meaningful that it represent happiness and sorrow.

Its time for a change. I know you can go throught it..And i know i can go through it.

Be strong now.

Be strong now..

Some search never finding a way
Before long they waste away
I found you, something told me to stay
I gave in to selfish ways
And how I miss someone to hold when hope begins to fade

Cause im lonely..

And im tired..

Im missing u again..

Once again..

After midnight

............................................whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.................................

........................................feels like........................................

........................................YOU......................................

I dont know.

[?]

Have lots of issues in mind but i cant really state it here..no explanation for that i just dont wanna talk about it over and over again.

What are you now Vale?

Loser?

Failure?

Okayyyyyyy..

Go now! Go!

Go cry like a baby!

Go!

I hate myself lately.

Reality bites?

For sure.