Just one of those moments..

Its been quite a while i havent blog here..Just posting through my FS blog only..

So where should i start?hmm..i have no idea..I just feel like writing and hopefully i'll get inspired to write by singing the song Dead and Gone?Because that song has the exact intrepetation about my life right now..Ive been spending much time thinking lately..Thinking of how to obtain survival.Thinking of "oh lately its so quite".Thinking of how to make myself happy..

Things just doenst go well for me these days..I have a broken car..i have an empty wallets..I hvae a cold and quite house..i have a sorrow heart..and i feel lonely as hell..Sometimes i reach to the point where i feel like i hate myself. For being weak and fragile. Its been a long time and i should move on now..be strong already..

Heres the thing..when uve been spending time with friends and family..everything went well and u feel like u finally get to over it already..But when everybody else is busy with their own agenda..and when u and ur family members are not talking for the time being, and for whatever fucking reason, u started to feel weak again..its just feel like u are down again..

Im not saying that i am too depending..depending on others to make me happy, to fill my incomplete and so on..I just feel like im missing a lot in life and thers nobody to talk to. and there i realize that i dont have many mutual friends like i thought i have. I hate it when the loneliness start to creep into my life..I feel small again..

Im experiencing ups and down..And i keep pretending that im okay..acting like everything was fine..I just dont want anybody saw me crying..its not my style to cry..But sumtimes it hurts so bad i really need a flow..on my own..

i pray for happiness to come..i dont want to cry anymore..